sweatin' mad

ok...so I just did 30 intense minutes on the treadmill and WOW I pushed up the incline, got the tunes going and all of the sudden my mind explodes! I really think this weight loss is helping me lose other aspects of my life as well and it seemed to be working itself out a bit more in my work out. REALIZATION - I am not a failure and maybe this weight kept me a failure in my mind. When you offer someone friendship or love and you are a good person who is the failure if they don't want it? It is not my loss, although it makes me sad that will be the only power/emotion I am willing to carry. It does not define me at all. I know I am talking in circles and won't just come out and say what IT or who IT is but I guess it is more blogger therapy for me... for those of you who really know me, you can probably figure it out. I just know this... my mind is racing and I am the one who is FINALLY winning the race in my mind and quite honestly I am friggin pissed off that I took this long... not negative self talk pissed but motivated pissed. walking on the T-mill I just was so angry but at peace and I found it so motivating to increase the speed and the incline and boy did I get a good 30 minutes in! I have the song "You ain't seen nothing yet" in my mix and it came on while I was reviewing all the crap in my head and it opened the flood gates for sure!

just know this people channeling emotions to finally work for you instead of against you is a peaceful feeling. I love it.