She lives to blog again

do I start with the excuses or just get into my new found motivation and faith in myself. I seriously battle with will power and accountability. I think part of the problem (uh oh...maybe this is an excuse) is I just don't see the fat girl in the mirror! I guess I have opposite of anorexia where they do see the fat girl... LOL... hmmmm... anyways - losing this weight is ALWAYS on my mind and I ALWAYS feel guilty that I am no longer being proactive in my health. My knee has good days and bad days and I need to get serious about this or else I will become an old woman who can't function properly before I hit 45! I've gained back all of the weight I lost last year thanks to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthday's, Easter and the plain and simple fact I just have been eating whatever I want with no account to my needs for my health!!!!! THE MADNESS HAS TO STOP!!!! I love candy and it has gotten out of control. I think I am back in control - but just admitting this I feel like I have called myself out and I have to do that to stay in this fight... it is not a fight to lose weight so much as it is a fight to keep diabetes at bay and heart disease away. My family is full of these disease's and for some reason I don't work hard to not become the one it hits. That makes me sad and mad at myself. I worry for my kids with that attitude of mine - I am working to change it.

I was just reading my old blogs and WOW what did I let go of all for the holidays? good friends, great support... all for Holiday food and not holding myself accountable. not worth it people... I have to come into this with a new attitude, new approach and new faith and some SERIOUS goal setting! I will start with goal #1 in this blog and add to it as each goal is met. I only want to focus on one goal at a time and perhaps that will launch me into meeting bigger goals... baby steps eh -

so goal #1 is a two part goal - Blog everyday until April 18th accounting for my food intake and exercise - part two is to make the best healthy decisions I can regarding my food intake.

now with that said - our kitchen is tore up!! sooo, my temporary solution is to eat more salads, and buy lean cuisines until I get back into JC food full time... my kids will have to eat simple stuff as well... and my daughter is wanting to lose some weight so it is time to be a role model mom and set the standard!!

feels good to be back :-)